Transcription of Document FFDoc-1273.pdf

Monday 3-5-79

Dear Frank:

Don't know what my motivation is in writing you again so soon - my checkbook says I paid my March debt! Maybe it's to follow up on my trip - but only briefly; maybe it's to follow up on news already shared; maybe it's just to share the new goodies and not-so-goodies. Any any rate it's an URGE.

California was a pleasant intermission. Pat's baby is beautiful even by an objective observer's standards. Lenaya is a vital, beautiful child with an independent character reminiscent of her mother but also giving testimony to some mothering (and fathering) that make me proud. She has her ugly spots, and her parents recognize their part in them - but she shows such potential I find myself adding to my pleas to the Lord to let me hang around to see the budding adult. I'm still "young" enuf for death to hold lots of fears for me but I find my largest problem is to contemplate NOT being around when grand-kids are of an age that shows promise of what the adult may be. Of course I know that were I assured an age that would see me thro' their young adulthood, I would then want an extension to witness how their kids developed. What I really aspire to is immortality!

We were favored with good weather - from the 60's to 70's - mostly sunshine. Both flights were smooth & uneventful, but Jeanne had sweaty hands and I had a "sweaty" stomach. I don't know if even repeated flights at regular intervals - on joyous missions - would change that for me. The fear is not omnipresent but it does rear it's ugly head from time to time.

And it makes me wonder how a "world-traveller" like yourself feels on flights. I guess I'd tackle some more flights as a necessary part of interesting or necessary travel plans but I'm sure the anxiety would still be there. Nite flights don't invite you to do anything but rest and pass the time. But we came home in daylight (9:30 AM departure) and I wasn't sure I was up for that. We used the earphones to tune in on the pilot's communication with the tower and watched our take-off on a TV screen! For me it was a horrible fascination - I really didn't want to "see" us go down that runway but I couldn't resist it. Actually we had a smooth flight both ways - some "seat belt" weather for an hour on the trip home but less "bumpy" spells than the trip to Ireland. Ran into some thick fog close to Boston and Jeanne hoped they wouldn't dare to land in it! At the same moment I thought we were ascending again - and about 2 minutes later we were down - the smoothest landing imaginable. I still have a small phobia about flying, but I won't avoid it.

3-10-79 (not so soon in writing)

I sure am a procrastinator! But I get bogged down nites about everything with "I'm too tired", letters included. And sometimes I add a few lines to the missive under way, but give up when I get drowzy, and time passes and letters go unfinished.

....

3-14 (much later in writing)

... and unfinished. But this time - out it goes. Some of my wearies come from dealing with family problems and I guess I've been concentrating on them lately - openly, and internally, and from necessity because the problem solution always involves 'mom' in some fashion.

Hope I can be brief about the latest: -

#1 - You know most of Michele's story so should have the finale (so far, that is) She made a decision to keep her baby - then Ace decided he was keeping Michele and baby - then due date changed to June 15 so Ace could be baby's father - and then they went to an engaged encounter they'd been anticipating. In spite of the myriad things they discussed before, they found new points of discussion about each other. Mich was prepared to profit by it & enjoy it because so many of our family has been ME'd, and she had made a cursillo. But Ace was a bit fearful, though thoroughly commited - and came away feeling, as he told me, "it's the best thing we ever did for ourselves". That weekend they set - or actually re-set their wedding date from late June to Apr. 28th. They've since been to see the pastor, were well received, so plans are underway. This wedding made me face many unexplored feelings & attitudes and I learned some things about myself I'm not too happy with. But I'm managing - & we've had a lot of laughs that Michele joined in. Having Ron to "confess" to has been helpful.

T'will be a simple celebration compared to Reem's & Jeanne's or even Pat's. Started out with about 12 to witness the ceremony & a larger group to join us afterward. Current plans are for informal invitations to about 40 of families & friends to both church and a luncheon here afterwards.

#2: Am not sure if you've ever heard from me, or anyone, about Reem's marital problems. But there's been crisis after crisis the past 2 years and at the beginning of her last pregnancy she was in another one - that tension build-up threatened either spontaneous abortion or a premature delivery; she was home again for respite, decided she had to continue the marital status-quo for her's and the pregnancy's sake until sometime after the baby was born. As you must know it was a boy, Adam, born Jan 5. Since then problems have escalated and I think she came close to emotional disaster. She came to a decision and, even in her weakest moments, has stuck with it: that she must have a period of separation from Gil to look at their relationship and discover whether or not he can join her in solving their problems. The prognosis is about 100% negative!

I brought her home today for an extended weekend after which she's to return to close up "the house" and help her clients with transition to new "parents". Then it's back here for an indefinite period to collect herself and see what comes next.

So it promises to be a busy, maybe chaotic summer. The wedding at April's end., Reen & 2 kiddos to move in meantime; Pat & 2 kiddos due here for several months' visits starting June 4; Michele to come back from Lewiston to deliver about June 15 and stay on a week or so for help with her new baby. And now Jeanne think's she's pregnant!!!!

As I write all this I'm chuckling out loud and wonder about my sanity. I DO believe it's all happening because it IS, but I don't believe it. Either I'm nuts, or I can't live without turmoil and all the life-disruptions I permit myself. Either way you look at it, I am nuts or will be!

Apropos of all of this - am wondering how you and Dot & Leo are faring. But am sure that you and God, between you, will work it out.

Simply gotta go - Love Dot